My, it's been awhile. Unfortunately, my lame university censored a lot of websites back in January, so I haven't really had the chance to visit

I can't believe that in my last update, the wedding countdown was at 282 days. Ohmigod. It's now at 31. 31 days til I'm a married woman. 0.0

Obviously made it through Christmas. Made it through my last official semester. Made it (barely) through my internship. Made it through graduation. Made it through five bridal showers (only two were for me)... I'm making it through my last college class. Making it through this ridiculously long summer. Making it through intense wedding planning sessions with il Madre. Making it through the notorious post-grad job search... Making it through life, I think.

These past few months have been... intense. That's the only word for it. I've realized and dealt with a lot of personal things. And I've hurt a lot of people. I've gained life lessons that are never easy to learn or accept. And I come out at the end still just as lost as before. "The absurdity of human life"- that's a good description for what I'm realizing. The beauty of it too, of course. Maybe this is just a phase.

So, in a month, I will be a Mrs., a college graduate, and unemployed, probably. I will finally be out from under the rule of il Madre. And just as superfantastic- I will have a dishwasher and a real bed. Thank god.

Life lessons:
-don't ever give your loved ones reason to doubt you. it will cause more harm and hassle, and it will take years to get back to normal.
-teach your children when they are young how to: communicate healthily, love themselves no matter how much they screw up, how to financially care for themselves, and to treat the people around them with respect.
-hiding from reality doesn't make it go away. it only delays the inevitable. unfortunately.


I miss the ocean.